I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
thus making me awesome and them whores
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize