pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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