If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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