I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
