Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
