i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
