Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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