hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize