We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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