There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
