Jerry, you need to find god
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
