we have pet lesbian snakes
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize