with your own penis?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
