i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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