I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
