so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hippo gnu deer
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
