with your own penis?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
