I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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