so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
