You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
