If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
