He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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