Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
