Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
