i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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