cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize