His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
