where am i from again
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
