come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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