I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
