So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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