I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I would ride that face into the sunset
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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