thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
All the doctor said was why
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
