Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
