Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Randomize
