I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
