I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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