i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize