Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
