I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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