just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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