If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
