Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
