Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
