GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
its liver damage thursday
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