I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
