I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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