It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
