he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
