the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
