I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i've created a new STD.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
