Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
