that's an acceptable place to lick
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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