a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
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It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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