i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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