I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize