So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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