What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize