You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
