Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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